Kelp Noodles with Tapenade

So I was home all by my lonesome on a Saturday night, self imposed since I had a big audition the next day. I have a rule about eating healthy when I'm just cooking for myself, but it being Saturday night and all I thought I should treat myself to something just a little luxurious. I was in the mood for pasta, especially ever since I stumbled across Mark Bittman's recipe for risotto-style pasta:

I made this a few weeks ago with chard and spicy sausage, it was amazing.  But sticking to my rule, I picked up a package of kelp noodles instead and devised a little tapenade idea as the sauce.  I knew I had preserved lemon at home, and a big bunch of parsely, and garlic.  I just needed some olives, and voila.  Oh, and a little goat feta never hurt.

Here's Maryssa's Tapenade Noodles (serves 1-2):

1.  Soak 1 package Sea Tangle kelp noodles in very hot water.  Get frustrated that they aren't getting soft enough, boil pot of water, and pour over noodles.

2.  Rough chop about 1/3 cup olives of your choice.  I used a combo of pitted Castelvetrano and pitted Kalamata.

3.  Chop fine 1/2 a preserved lemon.  What, you don't have preserved lemon at home?  Get out of my food blog!  Or how about a tablespoon of lemon zest and a good squeeze of lemon juice.  That would work nicely.

4.  Chop italian parsely, about 2 tablespoons worth.

5.  Mince 1-2 cloves garlic.

6.  Combine olives, lemon, parsely and garlic.  This is what mine looked like:

7.  Toss noodles with olive oil and a bit of lemon juice. 

8.  Combine tapenade with noodles.

9.  Add feta if desired.

I used Redwood Hill raw goat feta:

10.  Dust with chili flakes and/or ground black pepper.  I don't think it needs any salt since the preserved lemon, olives, and feta are fairly salty.

Ok, I'll admit that kelp noodles are a little odd.  They do have that distinct crunchy "pop" that reminds you of stomping on kelp at the beach.  But soften them up enough and they're pretty palatable.  Not to mention how good they are for you - no fat, very little calories, rich in minerals - as compared with regular old pasta with its gluten, empty carbohydrates, and virtually zero nutritional value.  Pour yourself a glass of organic wine, and congratulate yourself for being such a sexy modern-day healthy vegetarian.

Though I do think my tapenade and feta combo would be pretty delicious with Mr. Bittman's risotto noodles :)